Chapter Seventeen: The Chapter Where Everything Else is Overshadowed by the Bizarre "Lapdog Bestiality" Section, SERIOUSLY Pynch, Where Did THAT Come From?!

So we open with Kit and Yashmeen in northern Italy, visiting Riemann's grave. Yashmeen tells about hearing about these stranniki, wanderers--people displaced, deracinated, as she herself feels now. "People called them podpol'niki, underground men. Floors that had once been solid and simple became veils over another world. It was not the day we knew that provided the stranniki their light."

She's feeling disillusioned: "Whatever hopes I may have had for the ζ-function, for the new geometry, for transcendence by way of any of that, must be left behind" (663). What is happening here? Well when Kit asks: "You want to tell me what's going on?" her answer is a terse "no. Not really." (664)

They meet Reef! Whoo! And naturally, the two brothers are thinking about a lot of unsaid things about their father and their obligations in that regard. They hang out in Kit's hotel room drinking champagne, though not in a notably celebratory fashion. They're clearly both thinking the same thing: should we, can we, kill Scarsdale Vibe? Kit is feeling especially grim, what with having accepted Vibe's blood money and all. No getting around it. Madame Eskimoff appears, and they have a little seance. Reef doesn't believe that they're actually channeling anyone, so Eskimoff lets him serve as the channel, and Webb certainly seems to manifest. He talks about regretting his choices in life and all, but the frustrating thing is, he doesn't just say, that sumbitch Vibe is here, you need to murder the shit out of him for me, as you'd hope. "They wanted to hear Webb say, with the omnidirectional confidence of the dead, that seeing Scarsdale Vibe had hired his killers, the least the brothers could do at this point was to go find him and ventilate the son of a bitch" (673).

Anyway, the chapter ends with Kit and Yashmeen's farewell. He's still feeling conflicted--conflicted conflicted conflicted. Meanwhile, she's kind of resigned for the time to being at the mercy of people whose motives she doesn't understand. Would they ever have been a couple? It's always a question in the back of their minds. But in this reality: no.

Now! Yes, that title. So let's go back a bit: Reef's "friend" Ruperta has a papillon named Mouffette. She calls it a "lapdog," and that gives Reef the insane idea "that Ruperta had trained her toy spaniel to provide intimate 'French' caresses of the tongue for the pleasure of its mistress." Later she has to go for the day, to somewhere where dogs aren't allowed, and asks Reef if he'll take care of Mouffette.

"Sure, you bet! His thoughts taking wing. The day alone with a French "lap" dog! who might be more than happy to do for Reef what she was obviously already doing for old 'Pert here! who in fact, m-maybe all this time's been just droolin' for one-them penises for a change, and will turn out to know plenty of tricks! A-and--"

And look, as long as I'm quoting this madness, here's the climax. So to speak:

"Oboy, oboy." He stroked the diminutive spaniel for a while until, with no warning, she jumped off the couch and slowly went into the bedroom, looking back now and then over her shoulder. Reef followed, taking out his penis, breathing heavily through his mouth. "Here, Mouffie, nice big dog bone for you right here, lookit this, yeah, seen many of these lately? come on, smells good don't it, mmm yum!" and so forth, Mouffette meantime angling her head, edging closer, sniffing with curiosity. "That's right, now, o-o-open up...good girl, good Mouffette now let's just put this--yaahhgghh!
Reader, she bit him. (666)

Is it coincidence that all this takes place on page 666? I THINK NOT!

I guess if we wanted to try to treat this seriously, we might suggest that this is presaging future episodes in which it will become clear that Reef's sexuality is more mutable than might be expected. But it just seems wildly strange from any angle. Hard to say.